“Where do your kids go to school?”

It’s a popular question parents make at gatherings.

“In my living room,” I reply somewhat gingerly.

What comes next will now be awkward, condescending or life-suckingly pointless. The chatter of this subject follows a painfully predictable pattern.

She tries to wear her ‘no big deal face,’ but the cringe shows through clearly. With a little too much gusto she responds, “Oh! Wow. I could NEVER do that!” Her hand is empathetically grasping her chest; I’ve *obviously* chosen the road of torture and weeping. (Hmmm. She could be right.) Then in some unflattering way she eludes to my perceived superhuman psychosis. Seriously, friends, it’s just homework in the morning instead of the afternoon.

Every involved parent homeschools in some form.

She continues, “Sooo… why did you guys do that?” Her head tilts in a confused way as if I said I eat knives for entertainment. When I offer an actual reason, it evokes either a slight exhale or a glazed look in their eye. Basically, I’ve either gotten her attention or lost her completely. I prefer the latter.

At this point in the game, I know who I’m dealing with. The scenario is so very common, it’s easy to tell who is condescending from the moment they wake in the morning, who is simply curious, and who is just shooting the breeze. Because the first type seems to be the most vocal and pushy for information, not to mention she makes the best faces the deeper in we go, we’ll continue on as if we are talking with her.

Next, she will most definitely ask the question she really wants to ask despite already having a firmly established opinion on it. But she will ask it anyway. It cannot be resisted. It’s almost always worded in exactly the same truncated way, making it all the more awkward. I kid you not, the most popular way to ask the next question is, “And what about the social?”

Umm… The social?

Like, are we going to have ice cream or something? Do you mean like a craft bizarre or an old folk’s square dance competition? No? Hmm… Oh – oh! You mean how do I expect my totally isolated and sheltered children to become functioning members of society if they aren’t grouped by age and funneled through the standard institutional method of education.

Got it.

I offer her what she wants: a detailed list of the extracurricular activities and classes my children attend and avoid the real issue: ignorance. She exhales half-way, not wholly convinced my spawn aren’t about to implode the socialized universe.

“Sooo… how long do you plan to do that? I mean, you’re going to put them in for high school, right?”

As if I’m secretly longing for the chains of inequity to be broken or better yet I have a holy fear (if you get my drift) of the public system and don’t want our precious pets to be polluted even at the expense of their intellect and (of course) social integration. I love the over- arching eyebrows and tight mouth when I give the real answer. I didn’t always. It took me years to be brave enough to. I used to just say, “Oh, maybe. We just take it one year at a time.” Which we do, just like anyone else, but the plan for the long run has always been to homeschool all the way to graduation. Believe me, folks, I’m saving the teaching world a heap of heartache by doing the job myself. I gave birth to a morph of Einstein, Urkle and McGuyver. It’s just better this way. Trust me.

To each of these questions there are real answers, things I typically keep to myself in the name of civility considering who is usually asking. I’d like to offer those to you here. On some we will see eye to eye. On other’s, well, we are allowed in this great country to hold differing opinions. The trick is to allow for it. Heck, most people can’t agree on the best pizza toppings so it’s no surprise there is huge variation on how we think children should be educated. There’s truly isn’t one right way – at least for schooling.

Over the next few posts I’ll share some of our homeschooling journey by fully answering those common questions- what I would really say if I had the time and the guts. I’ve had these conversations so frequently you’d think I’d be secure in my convictions, but to be honest that critical eyebrow gets me every time!

How about I work on not being so sensitive to raised eyebrows and you work on not pre-judging, ok? Come on, it’ll be fun…

{Click HERE for the next post from this homeschooling conversation.}